Music department

September 1st, 2008


Music department

Department 56 Snow Village Halloween Haunted Rails Engine
Department 56 Snow Village Halloween Haunted Rails Engine Dept 56~Original Snow Village ~HAUSTED RAILS ENGINE & COAL CAR" #80000 2008 1OTH ANNIVERSARY of the SNOW VILLAGE HALLOWEEN. Lit features including flickering stove.. Wonderfully handcrafted of high-quality ceramic, capturing a wealth of intricate details. ADAPTER INCLUDED . Coordinates 800000 "RICKETY RAILROAD STATION " and #800216 "TIME'S A-WASTIN . From the Department 56 Halloween Village® Series Arrives in an Original Snow Village Halloween box 10 x 2.75 x 4.75" Each item comes mint in box...

Kitchen:  10th anniversary special-edition haunted Halloween train engine, Made of high-quality ceramic with exceptional details including flickering coal stove, illuminated headlamp, and jack o¿ lantern cow catcher, First in four-part train series, Adapter cord included; packaged in original Snow Village Halloween box, Measures 10 inches long by 2-3/4 inches wide by 4-3/4 inches high
Company: Department 56  (2008-05-01)
List Price: $70.00
Amazon Price: $59.94
(more...)

Department Of Defense F 4 Phantom Ii 82 Military Art Poster Print - 20" X 16"
Department Of Defense F 4 Phantom Ii 82 Military Art Poster Print - 20 We bring you the best selection of Movie Posters, Music Posters, Sports Posters, Art Prints, Television Posters, College Humor, and more! This is the premier destination for finding entertainment posters. Find authentic movie advertisements, increase your celebrity photo and poster collection, locate that missing pop idol piece you need to complete your set, or discover rare concert sheets from your favorite musicians and bands. Whether its that one rare framed art print youve been looking for, or you need to wallpaper your dorm room with the hottest, sexiest posters, this is the place to find everything. Brand new, perfect condition, fast shipping! Buy from the best!!!

:  You are looking at a great poster., It is perfect for framing or hanging on the wall -- and it makes a great gift., This poster measures approx. 20" x 16" and is perfect, unused, and rolled in a protective tube.
Company: Adam Hersh Posters 
List Price: 
Amazon Price: $2.99
(more...)

Department 56 Snow Village Zeldas Wax Museum
Department 56 Snow Village Zeldas Wax Museum Size: 7 x 6.75 x 9.5" Product Details: Wax Figures Illuminated By Flashing Spooky Lights; Adapter cord included. Collector Notes: Introduced December, 2006

Kitchen:  Introduced in 2006.
Company: Department 56  (2006-05-01)
List Price: $90.00
Amazon Price: $60.00
(more...)

In Ear Park
In Ear Park In Ear Park is a colorful and expansive album, an intimate and personal collection of songs; much of the material that Daniel brought to In Ear Park draws on memories from his childhood, especially those relating to his father, who passed away in 2007 and to whom the album is dedicated (the title track is a nickname for a park in Los Angeles that the two used to visit). Many of Fred's contributions relate to similar themes of nostalgia and mortality, giving the album at times an elegiac feel. In Ear Park is also full of joyful moments, lush production and concise songwriting. From the early demos to the final mix, it took roughly four years for the group to complete this new collection of eleven songs.

Atists:  Department of Eagles
Audio CD: 
Company: 4ad Records  (2008-10-07)
List Price: $14.98
Amazon Price: $10.24
Used Price: $5.99
(more...)
Tags:   Ear Park

The Cold Nose
The Cold Nose Known for some time now as ''America's greatest semi-active band,'' Fred Nicolaus and Daniel Rossen's Department of Eagles have beguiled music fans at slow and steady pace for just over four years. Their debut album, the Whitey On The Moon UK LP (titled as an homage to the band's former name), sounded like nothing else at the time of its first release in October of 2003. No one had ever heard such distinctive, experimental, beat-driven montages laid next to such exquisitely structured pop songs, all laced with playful and witty undercurrents. Imagine The Notwist, Randy Newman, Underworld, and Ween accidentally booking the same studio time, and you get the idea. Rossen, who sings most of the Department of Eagles' songs and plays most of the stringed instruments on the album, is currently one of the main songwriters and vocalists for the highly acclaimed Warp Records act Grizzly Bear. He and Nicolaus have had the Department of Eagles on hiatus for a while now, but are currently working on the follow- up to their stellar debut.

Atists:  Department of Eagles
Audio CD:  Extra tracks
Company: American Dust  (2007-07-31)
List Price: $15.98
Amazon Price: $11.64
Used Price: $12.00
(more...)
Tags:   Cold Nose

In Ear Park
In Ear Park Department Of Eagles is Daniel Rossen (Grizzly Bear) and Fred Nicolaus. A colorful and expansive album; an intimate collection of songs. Much of the material Daniel brought to this record draws on memories of his father who died in 2007, and to whom "In Ear Park" is dedicated. Many of Fred's contributions relate to similar themes of nostalgia and mortality, giving the album an elegiac feel at times. "In Ear Park" is also full of joyous moments, lush production, and concise songwriting. "Department Of Eagles make scratchy, lo-fi Casio-pop with hooks as big as arena anthems" - New York Magazine.

Atists:  Department of Eagles
LP Record: 
Company: 4ad / Ada  (2008-11-11)
List Price: $21.98
Amazon Price: $18.34
(more...)
Tags:   Ear Park

Peteys OK, Carroll Live
Director:  WBUC-TV-3, Warrencobb
VHS Tape:  Color, Dolby, Full Screen, Surround Sound, NTSC
Company: Clokey Production, The art department  (2001-11-08)
List Price: $19.95
Amazon Price: 
(more...)
Tags:   Peteys Carroll Live

Living Legends the Lamanite Generation a Celebration of American Indian Polynesian and Latin American Cultures
Living Legends the Lamanite Generation a Celebration of American Indian Polynesian and Latin American Cultures Recorded in the de Jong Concert Hall at BYU before a live audience.

VHS Tape: 
Company: Brigham Young University  (1989)
List Price: 
Amazon Price: 
(more...)

Miracle on 34th Street



Beyond Miracle on 34th Street


Miracle on 34th Street (1994)
Christmas Classics Box Set
Horton Hears a Who!



Stills from Miracle on 34th Street (Click for larger image)










Director:  George Seaton
DVD:  NTSC
Company: 20th Century Fox  (1999-10-05)
List Price: $19.98
Amazon Price: $9.97
Used Price: $6.83
(more...)
Tags:   Miracle 34th Street

Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World (WS)
Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World (WS) You don't have to be an Albert Brooks fan to enjoy Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World, but it helps. As always, Brooks (as writer, director, and star) presents a timely comedic premise that's ripe with possibilities, and he capitalizes on his ideas with witty one-liners, hilarious expressions, and comedic situations that are patently absurd and yet, in Brooks' hands, amusingly believable. At a time of great fear and turmoil in the Middle East, Brooks plays a barely-fictional version of himself (a respected comedian named Albert Brooks) and dares to ask, "what's considered funny in the world of Islam?" That's what the State Department wants to know (in the President's effort to improve U.S.-Muslim relations), so they dispatch Brooks to India and Pakistan to write a 500-page report on what makes Muslims laugh. That he never really finds an answer is beside the point, because Looking for Comedy is more about the nature of comedy itself--specifically, the nature of Albert Brooks' comedy, which is self-deprecating, low-key, and so idiosyncratic that it defies mainstream expectations. After a brilliant opening, Looking for Comedy loses some of its momentum, but it's filled with brilliant bits and throwaway gags that keep you smiling from start to finish. One can only wonder, how will it play in Baghdad? --Jeff Shannon

DVD:  AC-3, Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, DVD-Video, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC
Company: Warner Home Video  (2006-08-29)
List Price: $19.98
Amazon Price: $3.70
Used Price: $1.18
(more...)

The Department of Music at Columbia University | Founded in 1896
[New York, NY, USA] Historically significant music department founded in 1896 by composer Edward MacDowell. Studies in musicology and ethnomusicology, applied performance, computer ... (more...)

UCSD Department of Music
december, 16 2008 camera lucida and the boys of baroque: december, 09 2008 camera lucida chamber music series and kpbs broadcasts: december, 09 2008 (more...)

Music Department at Stony Brook
HAPPENING THIS WEEK phone: (631) 632-7330 web: stonybrook.edu/music The performance schedule, particularly student recitals, are likely to change without notice. (more...)

Music Department > GT College of Architecture
Gives information about the course, upcoming events and a link to request more information. (more...)

The Music Department at Princeton University
Presents the faculty, people, events, research, and resources. (more...)

Music Department
Contains information about courses, ensembles and activities. (more...)
Tags:   Music Department

Stanford University Department of Music
Home Page for the Stanford University Department of Music ... Department of Music, Stanford University 541 Lasuen Mall Stanford, CA 94305-3076 (more...)

Home ? UNC Music Department
Music department pages include events, undergraduate and graduate programs, faculty members, a music library, news and links. (more...)

International Music Department of the Church of God in Christ
For Presidental Notes and Downloads (more...)

Music Department| The University of North Dakota
The University of North Dakota, About The University of North Dakota. ... elcome to the University of North Dakota Department of Music webpage. Please use the menu on the left to ... (more...)

Open Question: Apartment Horror Stories Please!?
Most people in Chicago rent and I?d like to get some apartment horror stories. I have many? From the hillbilly family who thought it was okay to hang their kid?s swimming pool on my window air conditioner to a drunk old lady who used to take out her trash in the subzero weather with no clothes on. My worst is: My wife & I have a newborn baby and we move into a nice quiet four unit building. Nobody is lives below us for a few months until some single guy moves in. At first he?s pretty quiet sans normal noise, but all of the sudden every day at 11am his radio is on unbelievably loud and it would wake our newborn up from his nap which really sucked. I talked to the landlord about it & he comes back to talk to me and actually says that the guy is getting ready for work & blasting his stereo from his bedroom so that he can hear it while he?s in the shower completely across the apartment! The landlord said the guy agreed to not do it again, but the next day it happens again so I go talk to him and he says he didn?t get a chance to go buy a radio for his bathroom yet. Inevitably the landlord has to kick the guy out of his building (the noise was also bothering the lady across the hall from him) and warns us that the guys is probably going to make lots of noise but he can?t throw him out & if it is too disruptive to call the cops. The last night the guy is allowed in the building is a Friday and my wife & I happen to have a wedding to go to. When we get home after picking up the baby around 2am it?s clear the guy has decided to make our life hell the last night he?s there? We can hear the music outside & when we get upstairs our floor is literally shaking so we just called the cops and explained the situation (and that we have our baby) & they show up a few minutes later. When they knock on our door the guy thinks it?s me and yells ?NOBODYS HOME? and the cops knock again and announce ?Chicago police department? and the music goes down & he opens the door. I hear the cops yell at him & leave then I hear the guy scream ?FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKK? and that was the last I heard of him. Prologue: We moved into a house in the city & I have never been so happy to not have to share a wall with anybody or a yard with somebody?s dog. These stories are always good, the worst of course gets best answer. (more...)

Resolved Question: Do most university rock bands come out of the music department?

Resolved Question: I have no idea how to choose my career?
I definitely want a high paying career. It sounds shallow, but my family experiences financial difficulties, so I want a high paying career so I can support my family. But most of the high paying careers (lawyer, doctor, ect) just don't interest me, and I could see myself being unhappy with them. I really enjoy performing, and it's the only thing I have an interest in. I play guitar and I act in my school's theater department. I would feel passionate about a career in music or theater. But I want to avoid becoming a musician or actor because it wouldn't provide the financial security that I want. I have no idea how or what to choose my career? Help? (more...)

Resolved Question: Why is any negative discussion that hits on anything near race viewed as racist.?
A friend and I were doing a paper for psychology on the correlation of crime and music. Our assignment was to show a behavioral correlation, and express if we thought the correlation accurately showed a cause and effect. We used a statistic done by a university showing what people listened to and then compared those groups to the crime report posted by the department of justice. When discussing the correlation I mentioned that it could mean nothing. Rap came up as the music that most criminal offenders listened to in most of our categories. However since in those same categories black people, followed by people under 25 were the top offenders it could just mean that young black people, for whatever reason, tended to commit those crimes and not that rap influenced them to commit the crimes. My friend ( who is black ) said that was racist as hell to say, but I still don't see it that way. Sorry to offend Toby, but I think this view is narrow minded.Why is it that since it has to do with race it is automatically viewed negatively to say. If I stated that the correlation showing Spanish music listeners were unlikely to commit a crime could mean nothing since only 2% of the crime committed in the US is committed by Hispanics it would not be viewed as negative. So what since it is not positive it is racist? In all I think most people viewed my paper as a bit racist, and only because it showed a negative statistic about blacks. This disturbs me. If I was trying to knock the black community I would have left out the parts that most crimes against children under 10, violence against family members, ect. are committed by white people. Anyway what I want to know is why is it that if you say something negative about a race other then your own you are racist, even if it is statistically true. After all no one said anything about me stating the dirty deeds of other whites, or for that matter any other music besides rap! Guess you missed the friend part there guy.I would appreciate future answers to show consideration, and not be hateful remarks. Both white and blacks told me the paper was racist. As for denial of crime and music statistics couldn't find the site again for the music, but the percentage was in the low to mid 30's for white people listening to rap. For the crime this is the government site I got my information off of http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/ucr.htm so yes plenty of data to go off of. Being historically inaccurate? The only civilizations that by any means were up to the times standards were the Kush and the Nubians both of which did not last that long in comparison to others. Closing your eyes just because the facts are not in your favor does not change them. This is the thing I am talking about. (more...)

Resolved Question: Do you like playing baby names games(4)?
--- This is the same as the one I posted last night, but I likes it, and not many people answered. So, rather than typing a new one, i'll do this new age and recycle. Your first is a baby boy. The best baby you could ask for; quiet, and calm and rarely cries. He's a red head! With baby blue eyes. He's a doll. What do you name him? Number two! Is actually number two and three. That's right twin ladies. Beautiful dark red ringlets, and glistening amber eyes to match. They look as if they've been molded by the hands of God. The girls are bouncy little things, both of them. Outgoing and cute. They love making people giggle. What is this pairs name? And your fourth is another little girl. She looks like a plump little cupcake, topped with strawberry blonde curls, and light brown eyes. Like her brother, she's calm and likes to observe. Another very good baby. And what will she be called? Now, your all done, so you think...You find out your pregnant with another set of twins, only this time, it's a boy and a girl. Polar opposites in personality, but not in features. Both have fuzzy brown heads, and dark green eyes. But the boy is bubbly and loves to play, whereas the girl is happy sleeping in your arms or holding a set of keys. And their names? As they get older... Number one takes an interest in music and is a star cello player at school, then he begins writing music and songs. He's later excepted into the music department at NYU for college. Numbers two and three grow apart, but both to love music, just like their big brother. But the eldest twin takes up singing and becomes a freelance musician in Brooklyn, traveling with her acoustic and pencil. Three though, takes a more structured aproach with singing and joins a touring chorus. And later get's her music education degree. Baby four, your quiet little lady grows out of her shyness (and her chunks) and becomes a photojournalist. She loves traveling the world and has learned at least eight differnet languages. She travels with her camera and her new found French lover. And later she get's pregnant, and wants you to give her son a middle name. She gives him the first name, Milo. Five, your baby boy, grew to love sports, and plays tennis, soccer, swims, and he runs track. For college, he get's a full ride scholarship to UTK for swimming. And finally six, when she turns nineteen begins touring with her big sister, number three. She plays bass, acoustic, and sings back-up. My answers... Elliot Saul Ingrid Caroline (Freelance musician) & Marilyn Claire (Teacher) Lydia Jenny Dax Lyle & Analeigh Meredith Milo Felix (more...)

Resolved Question: Im having trouble seing were i "fit in" with the fashion categories?
i like scene clothes to a certain extent and hip cute girl pop culture clothes so im a mix of both?what category am i am? I'm thin with bangs highlighted hair i have a pair of vans but i have a pair of flats. I have converse/chuck taylors and high tops. i have three pairs of skinny jeans 2 denim and one olive green pair. I have a couple of graphic tees i think i paint my nails i have big chunky "pop" color bracelets meaning they are brightly colored. I have those belts you see everywhere the ones with the squares on em but mine have jackson pollock splatter paint in the squares (yay!). im black but i don't act to white only around certain people i just pick up on the way everyone talks you know? So i sound natural...i wear those hip hop jackets (like the ones lupe fiasco wears) i wear hoops dangles any kind of earring. I always wear those tiny vests. i listen to pop neo soul hip hop gospel soul jazz blues some rock like pop but not to rock (like coldplay or australian pop rock the kind that comes on the radio on ryan seacrests show) i dont listen to metal or death metal or whatever i HATE it. i do listen to the gorrilaz though because they are unique. raggae to basically im a mix of everything. So what category or group do i fit in with?I don't really dont have a sense of belonging but with the band geeks and music department (even though i hang out with the cooler group of them) what am i? I dont have a sense of belonging... (more...)

Resolved Question: How about another late night baby name game?
Your first is a baby boy. The best baby you could ask for; quiet, and calm and rarely cries. He's a red head! With baby blue eyes. He's a doll. What do you name him? Number two! Is actually number two and three. That's right twin ladies. Beautiful dark red ringlets, and glistening amber eyes to match. They look as if they've been molded by the hands of God. The girls are bouncy little things, both of them. Outgoing and cute. They love making people giggle. What is this pairs name? And your fourth is another little girl. She looks like a plump little cupcake, topped with strawberry blonde curls, and light brown eyes. Like her brother, she's calm and likes to observe. Another very good baby. And what will she be called? Now, your all done, so you think...You find out your pregnant with another set of twins, only this time, it's a boy and a girl. Polar opposites in personality, but not in features. Both have fuzzy brown heads, and dark green eyes. But the boy is bubbly and loves to play, whereas the girl is happy sleeping in your arms or holding a set of keys. And their names? As they get older... Number one takes an interest in music and is a star cello player at school, then he begins writing music and songs. He's later excepted into the music department at NYU for college. Numbers two and three grow apart, but both to love music, just like their big brother. But the eldest twin takes up singing and becomes a freelance musician in Brooklyn, traveling with her acoustic and pencil. Three though, takes a more structured aproach with singing and joins a touring chorus. And later get's her music education degree. Baby four, your quiet little lady grows out of her shyness (and her chunks) and becomes a photojournalist. She loves traveling the world and has learned at least eight differnet languages. She travels with her camera and her new found French lover. And later she get's pregnant, and wants you to give her son a middle name. She gives him the first name, Milo. Five, your baby boy, grew to love sports, and plays tennis, soccer, swims, and he runs track. For college, he get's a full ride scholarship to UTK for swimming. And finally six, when she turns nineteen begins touring with her big sister, number three. She plays bass, acoustic, and sings back-up. Elliot Saul Ingrid Caroline & Marilyn Claire Lydia Jenny Dax Lyle & Analeigh Meredith Milo Felix Julyisfly... It's one in the morning, and i'm on Y!A. What leads you to believe I need to get a life?... Grow up. Pointless insults via internet is singularly one of the most immature things you could subject yourself to. If you wanted to started a fight with me, the least you could have done is asked for my phone number and called me. Your probably a doormat in real life and feel like because you'll never have to come face to face with anyone one here you can be a douche and get away with it. Well, you can, you just seem like a total asshole when you do. (more...)

Resolved Question: do you like my story?
It's kind of long, but I really want some opinions...please don't take it anyone. In a nutshell, it's a sweet romance. =D - Symphonie d?amour - ?Lina, hurry up! We can?t start our afterparty without the star!? Melanie?s voice was excited as she giggled, rushing her friend. Angelina smiled at her friend?s impatience and absently clicked the back of her phone with a nail. ?Coming, Mel?? ?Hurry!? the other girl reiterated loudly, then with a click, hung up. Lina tossed her hair upin a ponytail and grinned. Grabbing her jacket, she turned off the lights in the dressing room, shut the door and headed to the elevator. While she waited, she mused over the night?s events in her mind. She was still on an adrenaline high from how well the show had gone tonight. It was simple. Lina loved theater and was heavily involved with it. The performing arts conservatory was like a second home to her, with its brilliant stages and lights, the orchestra pit, the lush red seats and clean carpet. Their play was a Broadway classic, of which Lina was the star. How thrilling it had been to hear the orchestra play their music as she came running out last for curtain call! What joy she had experienced when the swells of applause grew at her entrance. She loved it, and spent hours memorizing lines and rehearsing tones and facial expressions. She sighed in blissful happiness as the elevator gave a quiet ?ping!? to announce the arrival of the car. She stepped in and glanced up, noticing another person in with her. ?Oh, Isaac?hi,? she said, startled, her cheeks growing a little red. ?Hey,? the boy said, smiling and nodding slightly in her direction. ?Really good show tonight?well, I couldn?t see it, of course, but I saw the audience?s reaction?? ?Oh?thanks,? Lina said, grinning back, her face still flushed with victory as the doors of the elevator slid close. Isaac was the first violinist in the Senior Symphony division of the youth orchestral section of the conservatory. In the school of sorts there were three sections: dance, drama and music. Often the coordinators of the three branches would combine their talents: the dance department would put their jazz artists or ballerinas in the plays with the actors while the youth orchestra accompanied. It made for a fabulous show, one easily publicized since the talent was comprised entirely of students. Isaac and Lina were friends, though geological difficulties ensured they didn?t see much of each other except during rare social outings and rehearsals. Lina had always secretly admired him endlessly, but tried hard to keep it hidden lest it ruin their friendship or he think her a creep. But they had always gotten along well and though he was a difficult person to read, she thought he enjoyed her company. Isaac was a brilliant musician. An unassuming, slender-figured boy of 16, he could not have been taller than five feet eight inches and a hundred forty pounds. But was he ever talented. The boy practiced four hours a day religiously and poured his energy into perfecting his skill. He was well on his way to Juilliard or some equally prestigous school. ?Coming to the party?? she asked with a friendly smile. ?Um?? he paused, thinking. ?I think I might come for a little while, but I have a competition in the morning, so I have to get some sleep.? Oh, of course. ?Cool,? she said with a tired but happy sigh. ?Well, I?? What she had been about to say was abruptly cut off by the sudden screeching and wailing of fire alarm bells. Lina jumped, eyes widening, and Isaac even looked slightly startled. The elevator jolted to a stop and the lights flickered on and off before half of them went decidedly off and the other half thankfully remained stubbornly lit. All of the lights on the control panel flashed brightly, then went resolutely dead. Lina crashed against the side of the elevator, instinctly grabbing whatever was closest to steady herself?in this case, Isaac?s arm. He looked a bit startled and something odd flashed in his eyes, but he said nothing, and she breathlessly muttered a ?Sorry? and let go as soon as she had straightened, cheeks flaming with embarrassment. She hoped he didn?t think she?d done that on purpose, she doubted he?d be the type to like a girl so flirtatious and she certainly didn?t want to come off that way to him. She didn?t have long to dwell on this, though, as she looked around helplessly and pushed a few random buttons on the control panel but found that this did nothing. The ?open doors? button was completely unresponsive. It appeared they were stuck. ?Um?? For a moment, Lina just looked around, lost. Eventually, a vague course of action occurred to her and she grabbed her cell phone and stabbed a few buttons to call her best friend. Melanie picked up immediately, but the light hearted tone (more...)

Voting Question: songs for college audition?
I'm auditioning to become a part of the music department at Indiana Wesleyan University. It is required that I perform two selections, in contrasting styles, from different historical eras if possible. The selections should display a variety of tempo and dynamics, as well as demonstrate my ability and range. One of the pieces must be sacred (whatever that means). I am an alto and I can sing almost anything. If you have any ideas at all, please answer! Thanks :) (more...)

Resolved Question: Things You'd Never Know if it Weren't For the Movies!!!!?
Large loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed. One of a pair of identical twins is evil. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one...dancing around in a threatening manner until you have dispatched their predecessors. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible but slightly blue. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a world-famous expert on nuclear fission, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics, or anything else, at the age of 22. Honest and hard-working policemen are usually gunned down a day or two before retirement. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complex machinery involving fuses, deadly gasses, lasers, buzz saws, and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one baguette and one bunch of carrots with leafy tops. It's easy to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. A man will show no pain while taking the most horrific beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. If someone says "I'll be right back," they won't. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel from time to time. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. A police detective can only solve a case after he has been suspended from duty. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will be able to mirror all the steps you come up with, and hear the music in your head. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure each is assigned a partner who is their total opposite. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. (more...)

Posted in Extra | No Comments »

« Previous Entries
Close
E-mail It